Mind Wars- learning to love yourself and your journey

Mind wars

I took this picture of myself to see the progress

 Right off I was disappointed and upset.

I thought after two years I should be much further than this!  All I could see was the lack of definition.  I felt I was still sticking out.  I was just utterly disappointed and hurt.  I showed my husband from whom, I got a positive response. Yet I still couldn’t see it. It made me really sad for a whole day I kept looking at my goal where I wanted to be. I knew when I shifted my goal from losing weight- to getting stronger – stronger with abs, I knew I’d might not ever achieve 100% 6 pack awesomeness.  I have had 7 babies and reality has to be a part of goals.

Here is a picture close to my goal but to be honest I don’t expect that- I am a different person- but you get the idea

I want definition.

I want to be able to not see a pooch!

I don’t even know if this is possible!!!  People,  I have given birth seven babies,  but I sure want to try and so I was highly disappointed.

Then all of a sudden this negative thought series spiraled.  I looked in the mirror and started noticing the blemishes and ache. They where more than normal from my having just had my period and all these extra sweaty work outs did not help.  I started to notice all the many other little “flaws” I have. Then I started really questioning myself, what I was doing and why- was all this worth it?

Then another web began. I started to beat myself up. I started thinking all the little times I didn’t say no to that small rare treat.

Forget the fact that I’ve said, “no” to thousands of sugary sweets. I’ve watched my husband eat them on the couch. I’ve watched my kids enjoy them. Then a new web formed and another spiral started. I began thinking about how I was loosening up a little in my diet and thinking well if you really want to get there you better be more serious… all these thoughts are flooding in and the war was raging in my head.

I wasn’t loving myself.

I wasn’t loving my progress.

I definitely wasn’t doing myself any credit for the hard work I’ve done.

I was reaching uncontrolled spiraling, when I heard that voice.  Praise God for the Holy Spirit, because He came in and said, “why are you listening to these words? These Lies? Why are you taking the beauty and glory out of the hard work, I’ve encouraged you and motivated you through. Why are you stealing the joy of the stubbornness I gave you while I was knitting you in your mothers womb? Why?”

“These thoughts are not real.  This is not reality!  I love you! You should love you!  You have worked hard! I’ve given you this endurance. Instead of seeing the beauty and enjoying the fruit. You wallowing in the filth of lies!”

So am I where I want to be- No.  Maybe I’ll get there maybe I won’t!

I praise God that He helped me refocus.  Unweave the webs and spirals of lies.  Come out of the darkness and into the light so I could see.  So I could pick myself up and move forward.  So I did not end the day feeling defeated.

I am on this journey and I plan to see it through.  And with the strength of the Lord it can be done.  How far I am not sure yet but I sure as hell am not giving in or up!

There is a War and it is so very much in my mind!!!!!!

I will be persistent and consistent to the best of my abilities.  I will show my kids what it is to set a goal and work hard for it.. TO DREAM BIG and strive for that dream.

I am strong because of Christ.  Because when I am weak- He picks me up.  He encourages me to fly.

Remember your “Why”! 

You plan 📆 your work out. Your alarm ⏰ goes off! 

And all the excuses 💬 step in.

“You can work out tomorrow.”

“sleep is healthy!”

Etc. etc. etc.

While most excuses are found in some truth the reality is it’s just an excuse! 

This is when you remember 💭 your why. 

Why are you working out?

Why are you choosing to get healthy?

Why did you begin this journey?

Let your “why’s” drown out 🙉 the excuses‼️

Share with me your why! 

Day 2- Doubts Set In


Struggling Mentally Today!

And.… doubts set in!

“Did I bite off more than I chew?”

“It’s probably not even possible!”

“Your going to fail”

“Your going to get board”

Etc. etc. etc.

We all have doubts!

I have them often.  What gets me through my doubts?

  • taking measurements
  • before and after pictures
  • making a list of what I have achieved since I began this journey.
  • looking at the timeline of my journey and specific accomplishments
  • knowing that even through failure I grow.  And I am free to fail because I am a child of God- He works all things for my good! Romans 8

?How do you combat your doubts? 

Motivational Pictures



You are NOT in competition with others!

We are only trying to be a better version of ourselves!


I love this one!  This is truly my Moto!

I tell myself this when I am working hard and sweating a lot.

I learned to LOVE sweat!


This is just the TRUTH!